


Delete

by lesbiandroids



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 07:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5699851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbiandroids/pseuds/lesbiandroids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn messed up and is not coping well. Just a single sad scene, sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delete

The cantina was spinning, which was Finn’s first indication that something was wrong.

  
Well actually, the first indication had been the judgmental look the bartender started giving him about three drinks ago, but this was bad too.

  
“Ugh,” Finn groaned, resting his head on the bar in an attempt to relieve his dizziness. Closing his eyes only made it worse, so he sat up again, much too quickly.

“Yeah, you’re done,” said the bartender when he gestured for another round of Corellian rum. He turned away to attend to another customer, leaving Finn high and dry, metaphorically speaking. 

Standing up also turned out to be a no-go, as Finn learned after a brief experiment that set the room spinning again. It was just as well, since getting up would mean going back to his quarters and back to being alone with his (confused, painful, frustrating) thoughts. 

“Hey,” he said with a wave to the bartender, who rolled his eyes impatiently.

“You’re cut off, bud. Remember?”

“Can I at least get a water?” Finn bargained.

The bartender reluctantly filled the request, setting a tall glass on top of the bar without a word. 

“Master Finn!” came a familiar voice, and it was Finn’s turn for impatience. 

“Hi Threepio,” he said, turning to face the golden droid. 

“What are you doing here?” asked C-3PO, the tinny syllables grating even more harshly than usual against Finn’s ears.

“Uh, getting a drink,” Finn replied. “What about you? I didn’t think droids really went for this kind of thing.” 

“Oh! I was simply passing by. I thought I heard your voice,” the droid confessed. “Mistress Rey has had some concern about how you are doing, ever since—”

“I’m fine,” Finn interrupted. “Thanks.” 

“I see,” C-3PO replied. “Well, in that case I will—”

“Actually…” Finn sighed, rubbing his face as sudden exhaustion set in. “Could you help me get back to my room?”

* * *

  
Standing over the sink in his quarters, Finn splashed cold water against his face in an attempt to clear his head. The cantina, he realized, had been a bad idea. Sleeping it off would be a good idea, but seeing as he was on a roll already…

“R6, reestablish last hologram connection, please.” 

The orange and silver droid next to his bunk came to life, beeping a rapid reply.

“Yes, I know what time it is on Coruscant. Just do it, please.” 

The droid beeped again but obliged, and the room lit up as a small blue hologram appeared on the floor.

“Hello?” the holographic figure said groggily. 

Just seeing the fuzzy, crackling image unleashed a new flood of intense emotions for Finn. “Poe, it’s me,” Finn said urgently, crouching to view the projection at eye level. “I… I needed to talk to you.”

A pause ensued; it was impossible for Finn to read Poe’s emotions from the small image. “Finn,” he said at last, “we’ve been through this.” 

“I know,” Finn acknowledged. “And I know what I said before, but I was wrong. I was wrong about everything.”

“Have you been drinking?”

“No.” Finn stopped to reconsider the lie. “Maybe, but that’s not the point.” 

“Okay, listen,” Poe replied. “It’s the middle of the night. I can’t do this right now. If I do, you’re not going to like the way it goes.” 

“When can I see you?”

“Well, this assignment is for another 21 days, and then I’ll be back on base.” 

“For how long?”

“I’m not sure. Not long, probably.”

“Poe, I—”

“I know what you want to say,” Poe interrupted wearily. “And I know you feel like you mean it but… don’t. Not now.”

Finn rubbed his face in frustration and despair. “You don’t understand, I’m trying—”

“I’m going to end this transmission, okay?” Poe cut him off again, to Finn’s mounting annoyance. “Record a message if you have to, play it back in the morning, and decide if you want to send it then. Trust me, I’m doing this for both of us. Good night, Finn.”

Before Finn could reply, the hologram cut out. In the darkness and silence that followed, it was almost impossible to focus on anything but the buzzing in his head. He returned to the sink to take a long drink straight from the faucet, and then stumbled over to sit on the edge of his bunk. 

“R6,” he said, “begin recording.”

* * *

  
The gentle beeps and whistles that awoke Finn the next morning were lightyears better than the harsh, blaring alarms he’d dealt with as a stormtrooper, but anything other than another ten hours’ worth of sleep seemed completely unacceptable at the moment. 

“Okay, I’m up,” he told R6, who responded with a low, apologetic whistle and then fell blessedly silent. 

Finn sat up and the ache in his head went from dull to pounding as the memory of the previous night’s antics came flooding back. “Ah,” he muttered, pressing his fingertips into his temples. The droid beeped in concern. 

“No, I’m fine,” he replied. R6 beeped again. 

“What?” Finn asked, head still fuzzy. Another burst of electronic chatter, and the picture grew clearer. “Oh, my… Force,” he groaned, feeling a flush of embarrassment. “Yeah, play the whole thing.”

He watched the recording of his exchange with Poe first, wincing the entire time. Then R6 played the second message, which Finn had no memory of recording. He could barely stand to watch, putting his hands over his face and peering through the gaps between his fingertips. 

“Poeeee,” hologram-Finn began lightheartedly, drawing out the single syllable in a clearly drunken manner. “Poeseph,” he tried out, before suddenly remembering the serious nature of the endeavor and clearing his throat, his expression becoming abruptly serious. “Poe,” he said a third time. “I’m recording this message because… I miss you. And you took my jacket. Which is technically your jacket, but whatever. Also, R6 is terrible at spooning.” He broke into a sudden, loud laugh that turned into wheezing, and then heavy silence. 

“What I really want to say is, I’m sorry,” he continued eventually. “I’m sorry for shutting you out like that, but the truth is that I was scared. Scared of hurting you, but mostly scared of getting hurt. Because I care about you. Poe, I—” the holographic image paused and rubbed his hands over his face, clearly agonizing over his words. “I love you.”

With that, the recording ended.

“Is that all?” asked Finn.

The droid beeped an affirmation, followed by an inquiry. 

“No,” Finn replied, standing up to finally start getting ready for the long, tough day ahead. “Just delete it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this was just really sad and mean, if you need a pick-me-up you can check my profile, the rest of them are definitely not this gloomy. On the bright side I did realize that writing one-sided droid conversations is so much fun oh my god every fic from now on is just gonna be that. Please leave kudos and comments(!!) as you feel moved, and say hi on [tumblr](http://lesbiandroids.tumblr.com) if you want!


End file.
